The Funniest Movie You Will See In AGES. Trust.

* Very very minor spoilers - keep reading *

I don't have long cos it's bedtime on a school night - BUT...

Holy fucking shit you have GOT to go and see Bridesmaids. It is seriously the single funniest movie in FOREVER.

If your face does not physically ache from laughing so hard through the entire movie, you have defective DNA. Especially in the aeroplane scene. So, so funny.

It's almost as if Twitardia, Inc. wrote the script. Girlfriends, cupcakes, one night stands, bitch fights, one liners that will make you wish you'd done your kegol exercises more often...

Oh, and the greatest poop-joke scene EVER. Jenny Jerkface will appreciate.

The cast are A. MAZE. ING. Loads of newcomers (new to me, anyway). Of special mention have to be the chick who plays the sister in law, almost steals the show. Also, the tall guy from The IT Crowd is in it, and I really like him (the Brits in the audience know who I mean. I am clearly too lazy to Google their names. Sue me).

PLUS - just when you thought it couldn't get better, they throw this bad boy atcha:

Yes, that's right girls - WILSON. PHILIPS.

My work here is done. To the cinema, stat!

(and leave me your review in the comments, mkay?)

Peter Facinelli Needs Your Help!

I lurves me some PFach.

Dr Cullen, Dr Cooper... yeah. Peter is my #1 DILF. As I type I am watching Nurse Jackie, and I promise you I just heard the line "FUCK! Time of death..."
I may or may not have hit rewind to hear Coop drop the F-bomb again.

Fitch Cooper, you crack me up.

Ooh. Here's my latest favourite PFach thing. I know I am, ooh lets see, four years behind the eight ball on this, but have you seen Damages? I just watched devoured all of series one on DVD in a matter of days. A friend (non-twi, but twi-friendly) lent it to me, because she knows I'm a fan of this:

Gregory Malina. Hubba hubba.

 
 ANYWAY, there is a point to all of this PFach prattling.

My good friend and twi-bestie, the gorgeous JAMIE, needs your help. She was bitten by PFach! Well, kinda. Peter is raising money for Alex's Lemonade Stand by 'biting' hundreds of fans, and by viewing Jaymes' picture you can help contribute to a good cause - research into childhood cancers.

SO.... clicky the linky HERE to follow through to another linky (it's worth it, remember, charity... charity...) to help PFach help the kiddliwinks.

And for your troubles, check out some more pretty pretty Peter pictures. You're welcome.

What pretty eyes you have Dr C.

I like the hat. Even if it's a little 'Paddington Bear'.

*pap pic* but hello, biceps.

What a smile!

If you got to the bottom of this post without clicking that big obvious link above, SHAME ON YOU. Scroll back up. RTFN.

Thank you.

*please excuse the picture formatting. Blogger is a arsehole tonight*

Concert Review and Music Recs For You!

On Thursday night, I went to a concert with not one, but three great bands I love, all for $50! Bargain! In spirit of my love of music recommendations, I thought I'd share it with you. This was my last splurge before the big savings crunch kicks in for my American trip.

Firstly, an up-and-coming kiwi act called Avalanche City. This is basically a few dudes who has had one massive hit that got picked up as a TV campaign theme-tune and are riding the wave. The kind of act that no one knows any songs until they end the set with the one song that we all sang along to.

I'm not a massive 'pop' fan, more into alternative/rock etc, but the really cool thing about Avalanche City was that I LOVED their other songs! I downloaded their debut album yesterday and it's really good. Although their hit is kinda pop-ish, they have a background in heavy rock, aparently, and having known that, I could hear it coming through in the drums and percussion. Worth a listen!

Here's their single. If it's not your cup of tea, keep an eye out for other things they will no doubt release soon.

The next act on stage was Midnight Youth, a young-ish kiwi rock band. Midnight Youth have been around a couple of years and are just getting to the slightly more mature phase. They're about to work on their second album, and if their first, and the two live shows I've seen are anything to go by, it'll be worth it. They're one of those bands that REALLY gets into what they're doing on stage, and their enthusiasm is infectious.

I took this video of one of their biggest hits, All On Our Own. Hope you like it:

 

And then the main event. Birds of Tokyo are an Aussie band that have been around a few years but that I only heard of with their third album, which is self-titled. Here in NZ they have been most well known on "mainstream" radio for one song, Plans. They are great live, their lead singer is hilarious! He kinda pranced round like a marionette for a while there, I couldn't stop giggling.

But I digress. You know when you get an album off the strength of one song, and then discover that so many other songs are amazeballs, too? That totally happened with this album! I love loads of their songs so have chosen a couple to share with you:

The Gap - this is a video I took the other night:

Wild at Heart - official music video:

The Saddest Thing I Know - official music video:

 

So yeah, these guys are totally worth a listen. If you're looking to expand your music tastes to something from down under, umm, you're welcome!

I hope you enjoyed my recs. Now.... to get ready for the next big thing... MTV Awards! Can't wait!

WIN! Follow Me... To FORKS!

As many of you know, in a few short weeks *cough 55 days cough*...

I'M GOING TO AMERICA!

 

Unfortunately I couldn't arrange my time off from work to coincide my trip with the Twitarded FOOORRRKKKS extravaganza. I will indeed be visiting Forks during my stay stateside, but about a month before the rest of my h00rs (what can I say? I'm Future Girl, I do everything first...)

So, I've cooked up a little somethin' somethin' for ya.

 

Umm, no. Sorry. He's all mine.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, a little gift for my Foorrrkkss BFFs. I would love to leave a little kiwi-inspired present for every one of my blog followers who is attending the Twitarded Forks weekend in September.

I will be with you all in spirit (and on Twitter) during your weekend of drunken debauchery and I want you all to think of me, too.

Used with permission from Twired

So, if you're going to Forks, and you follow this blog, leave me a comment below. If you do, when you get to the Forks Motel, there will be a little something waiting there for you.

Please forward a link to this post to anyone else you know who doesn't follow TwiKiwi but is attending Forks. This may or may not be a shameless plug for more followers. Hehehe.

Thanks dudes!

Happy Twitterversary to Me!

Wow. Today, May 26, marks one year exactly since I entered the Twittersphere.

Thanks as ever to Lisa. Mwah x

I had been reading Twitarded for a wee while with my twi-BFF @SparklyJul, when I decided to see what all the Twitter fuss was about.... and that was the start. The top of the slippery slope.

I started out my Twitterlife as @I_heart_Fifty. Then when TwiKiwi came along in September, the whole dual-identity shizz was confusing me, hence I asked the audience what to do, and came up with my current moniker, @TwiKiwi50.

I'd like to make a shoutout here to all those who welcomed me into the fold with open arms, fondles and bewb gropes. I especially remember making friends early on with @17foreverLisa and @TwiredJen, however I'm aware that there were loads of others who were really welcoming to me back in the early days, too.

And here I am, 1 year, 15,000ish tweets, 60 blog posts and a return airline ticket to the USA later! Eek!

I haven't been around as much as usual these past few weeks (for those who know why, thank you for your support), but I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for everything you have given me in the last year.

I have made life-long friends here. I love that I tweet, gchat, email, text, Skype and exchange HeyTell voice messages with some of you on a daily basis. My life would not be the same right now without each and every one of you and I can honestly place my hand on my heart and tell you that I love you all, hard.

Oh, and these guys are pretty awesome, too...

 

I now have only two months till I touch down in California! Squee! My next goal is to get this blog to 100 followers, hopefully by my bloggyversary in September. So if you're reading and you're not a follower, PLEASE rectify the situation, stat!

Love you all. Kiwi out x

Rob Pattinson - Vampire Vet

I am completely L2P on this... but I just heard it and it is HI-LAR-IOUS. Well worth a listen.

When Rob was in Australia promoting Water for Elephants (review post still coming... I need to go see it again...) he was interviewed for the Hamish & Andy radio show. These guys are brilliant and are very popular in Australia and also here in New Zealand. I listen to their podcasts every week, hence this post.

Last night at 1am as insomnia was being a total bitch, I heard their podcast from the 6th of May.

It seems it's damn near impossible to find YouTube clips of this interview in full as they've all been pulled. I did however find a downloadable link to this podcast, HERE. I suggest you start it downloading in a separate window before you read on (you can thank me later).

First piece of hilarity (and EXTREME example of L2P for me as this is waaaay old) that was discussed is one Robert Cattinson:

I cannot even describe how many types of wrong this is. But so fucking funny too.

Anyhoo, onto the main event. Their interview with Rob. You may have seen a mini-clip that's floating about (here), where they talk about WFE, Tai, Reese... the usual. But the real gold came later in the interview.

Hamish & Andy with some really tired looking dude

I am hoping you can fast forward that podcast link (in another other window, if you were paying attention) to 32:45.This is where the boys give Rob a script for a trailer for his new film, "Vampire Vet". Priceless.

Vampire Vet - The Ultimate Confusion

A man who has taken an oath to help animals, but also an oath to his stomach, to have lunch

Includes such memorable quotes as:

"Doctor, you can't keep eating the animals, it's really unprofessional!"
"I'm sorry. Are you still coming to Trivia Thursday?"

"I'm really sorry, I've eaten your monkey."

This whole thing cracked me up. I know it's a pain in the arse without a proper link embedded but it really is cute. I also love that Rob points out spelling mistakes in the script (my kinda man!), and giggles alot.

Enjoy!

Kiwi-Ed Crosses the Ditch

I know, I know. Long time no blogging - I blame Blogger's absolute FAIL this past week. And a lil' bit of laziness...

A couple of weeks ago I went to Sydney, Australia. You'll recall the teaser post from last weekend. I went to a conference, so although the trip was primarily business, there was also time for play. I had been wondering how best to tell you about my trans-tasman adventures, until it occured to me that my STOWAWAY friend could do the work for me and tell you about his exploits, which were *ahem* entertaining, as always. You may remember the last time Kiwi-Ed stowed away with me on a business trip. Yes, well, this one didn't go too much better. 

Without further ado, I'll let him tell the story. Please bear in mind as you read that he is prone to exaggeration. He calls it creativity. I call it obnoxiousness.

Greetings fans!

Thanks for that great introduction, boss lady. When I heard that TwiKiwi50 was going to Australia,  I started concocting a plan. I've never been out of New Zealand before, so this was my great opportunity! Quite conveniently, I hired a personal photographer, Vince the Australian, so I could bring you a pictorial post of my adventures. Vince was a complete dickhead though. Fortunately for you, he knows his way around a camera. And that he belongs behind it, not infront. More on him later.

Here goes! Hold on tight, Spidermonkey!

I decided it was safest to wait until we were mid-flight to let the boss lady know I had tagged along for the ride. After the Wellington debacle a few months back I had a feeling she wouldn't be best pleased. Vince and I were camped out in her handbag, which fortunately is quite roomy, because I swear that dude does not know the meaning of 'personal hygiene'.

Not too long before landing in Sydney she grabbed her bag to fill in her arrival documentation, and I yelled 'surprise!'. She was surprised, alright. And I am waaaay too polite to tell you all the filthy exclamations she uttered. I thought she'd be grateful for my company... apparently not. She shoved me back in the bag (I'm adding it to the list of  vampire-abuse incidences for my court case) because she was worried the Australian Customs / Border Control dudes would have a problem with an extra tourist. Vince was no help at all. So much for local knowledge! I guess the boss lady was right though, I wasn't in the mood to get caught. Vince told me they're keen on cavity searches and that was one welcome gift I did not need.

Hours later, we finally made it to our accommodation. We were staying the first night with TwiKiwi50's friend. Apparently, she doesn't know about me. Once I got over the emotional pain that my boss doesn't want to tell her friends about me (also added to the list) I realised we had an awesome view from the balcony.  Vince and I went to check it out.

I think this was all part of TwiKiwi50's plan. No sooner did Vince and I step out on the balcony, she locked the door behind us and left us there while she went sight-seeing. Hmprh. Seems she had her own camera with her too, cos when I sat down to write this post I saw these photos on the computer. Might as well share them with you:

I guess this is Sydney Harbour. I heard there was a famous bridge. Not that I'd know, since I was stuck in balcony-hell with Vince. Not fun.

Aaand... there's a famous Opera House. So I've heard. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Apparently there were some famous people in town just after we left. Boss lady was sad about that and kept going on and on about how we should have stayed a few more days. 

 

To make up for her disappointment at not seeing the famous people, she found the theatre they were going to appear at. I'm kinda glad I didn't get dragged along to see that, she gets all flustered and like a school-kid with a crush when she talks about this Patterson guy. Puhlease. What's he got that I don't have? I do not understand what she could possibly see in him.

 

Our next destination was a hotel/conference centre right by the beach. I woke Vince up (lazy bastard, what did he think I was paying him for?) and snuck out as soon as we got there, before the boss could lock me in the safe, or fridge, or something. Seriously, it's like she has some kind of fetish. Eww. The walk was going well, until...

I saw this creature. It was up in the tree, it was shrieking at me, and I was scared. I'm man enough to admit my fears, and trust me, this dude was terrifying. It was enough to make me run back up to our room for safety.  I left Vince in my dust. Dude has smoked waaay too much in his life to be very good at running. Humans are slow enough at the best of times, and I was not waiting. He made it back eventually though, lucky him.

When I got back to the hotel, TwiKiwi50 was getting ready to go out to a party. I hatched a plan, as soon as I realised I was going to have the place to myself. First though, I had to suck up to the boss lady. I pulled out the usual charm. I told her how good she looked, how nice her makeup was, how flattering that colour looked on her (oh yes, I know how to charm the ladies). I think it worked because she didn't lock me up when she left...

There were some conveniently pre-chilled beers in the fridge. Don't mind if I do! By the way, I should point out that Vince was sworn to secrecy. I made him sign a non-disclosure agreement. We're tight, or at least we were then.

I ordered in pizza. They wouldnt give me extra human blood, so I stuck with pepperoni.

The rent-a-crowd soon turned up. I wasn't impressed she brought her kid, but hey. I was desparate for company.

Then more locals arrived. What is with these Aussies bringing their young to a orgy party? How inappropriate!
 

Oh well, when in doubt, drink more. I really needed it that night. Works every time.

This is when shit started to get weird. The Kangaroo, the Koala and Vince seemed to be getting along WAY too well. I was weirded out... I mean, some things just don't need to be shared, right? I headed to the bathroom for some quiet time to think. They didn't even notice I was gone. I rifled through the boss lady's makeup bag. What the hell does she use these things for? Torture?

I learned a very valuable lesson that night. Sometimes, TwiKiwi50 knows best. I should have just had a quiet night in. I finally managed to get the Aussies out of our room, which actually wasn't hard since they were all headed to somewhere called King's Cross. Good riddance. I got to work tidying up before the boss lady came back. 

She was in quite a state when she got home. She insisted on jumping online and tweeting while she was slightly under the weather. I sighed, knowing full well that I couldn't stop her, and hoping she wouldn't tweet anything she'd regret later. I got to work running her a bubble bath and turning down her sheets. Finishing the evening with a nice foot massage, I was back in the good books. She was so grateful and slept like a baby. Sometimes it's nice to be appreciated.

And that's about the highlights of our trip to Australia. TwiKiwi took this pic of me (I never saw Vince again after the Koala/Kangaroo menage-a-trois situation) at the airport as we waited to board our flight. Next time she goes somewhere overseas, I'm going to ask her if I can tag along, rather than stowaway.

I hear she's going to the United States of America in a few months. I better apply for my passport now!

Kiwi-Ed xxx