What pushes your buttons?

I've been in a shitty-arse mood the past few days. I'm fairly sure it's a premenstrual thing (even if not, the excess chocolate and wine consumption can't hurt, right?) and every time this happens, thanks to the gods of the fucking lunar calendar, I turn into someone you don't wanna mess with. Not quite werewolf styles, but you get the picture.

So this week I got to thinking about all the things that piss me off in the world of Twilight. Trust me, there are plenty. I'm about as a big a fan as you can be - seriously, I love the saga, and everything it's introduced me to. For goodness sake, without Stephenie, I wouldn't have discovered the Twitards, and wouldn't spend every spare waking second attached to Twitter and Blogger and FFn....

Anyhoo I digress. I get a little ranty, you see. So here are a few things, in no particular order, that piss me right off - from the books, movies, fan fiction... but mostly movies. You have been warned.

1. Lack of continuity in the hospital scene in Twilight. I know that as a health professional I may be quite specific about these things, but surely anyone with eyes could see the issues with Bella's oxygen tubing going up and down everytime the camera shot to her. Seriously, one minute they're in her eyes, next halfway down her cheek. Now I have a lot of respect for Catherine Hardwicke, after all, we have her to thank for casting the Precious, but surely she could have sorted out something so obvious!

Continuity. It's NOT overrated.

2. Jacob's height. So Sparkly Jul already vented her opinions on this topic in this post, but I have to agree with her. I appreciate Taylor is a good fit for the Jacob character, and good on him for getting in shape as he did, but he's supposed to be gigantic! Says Bella, "I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I felt like I was a child hugging a grown-up." 

Surely, if they can make Elijah Wood and his mates look like four foot hobbits, and Hagrid the giant can be, well, a giant, they coulda magically made Jacob a little taller....

Jesus Jake, did you shrink in the rain?

3. Before I move on to this next topic, please let me make it clear that I have the utmost respect for anyone who writes fan fiction. I haven't ever tried writing a lemon, but I can only assume it's a very challenging task. I would like to sincerely thank all of your amazing writers, BUT, please let me get this wee gripe out of the way first. 

At some point, in every piece of fan fiction I have read, Edward, in the heat of passion, does something with his hands that pisses me right off - and not just through pure jealousy. Now there are PLENTY of things he does with his hands that I am very very happy with *ahem* but that's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the circles. He either 'traces patterns', 'rubs circles', or similar, almost every time. I'm so over it! I'd love some variety here people!

You'd be amazed what else I can do with these puppies...

4. Marcus's lack of appropriate footwear. In New Moon, when Edward stands before the Volturi, Marcus doesn't have any socks on and it drives me wild. And NOT in a hot way, in a 'put some fucking socks on you imbicile!' kind of way. The dude has had thousands of years to learn how to dress himself and yet, no socks. No socks is on a par for evil with guys who think it is acceptable to wear white socks with black shoes and black pants. Let's not get me started on that one... I'll save general non-Twilight rants for another day.

Just as well your feet are hidden in this still, Marcus.

To get back to the point, Marcus really grinds my gears. The Volturi are supposed to be intimidating and worldly. The only thing I'd be thinking if I were in Edward's position would be that I could give Marcus some serious fashion advice. Which brings me to my next point. Why does Alice say nothing? She of the fashionista persona? Oh wait, she's got enough to worry about wearing that fuck-awful stripey grey number. Ewww.

You deserve to be strangled for that outfit, IMHO.

So yep, some shit pisses me off. And I needed to get it off my chest.

What grinds your gears about twilife?