SPOILER ALERT: Breaking Dawn: Before the Spawn Review

Hi there,

I am hoping you have come on over from Twitarded, where I posted a spoiler-free review of Breaking Dawn: Before the Spawn. If not, I suggest you go there first, as this post makes the most sense if you've already read that one. Off you go, I'll still be here when you get back.

IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, YOU HAVE COME TO THE WRONG PLACE. 

You have been warned....

@SparklyJul, T, Kiwi-Ed, me, and B ready to go. Oh, and a cucumber.

This post is a little all over the place. But it is 3.45am and I've been awake far too long, so deal with it.

In my opinion, Emmett has some of the best lines. K-Lutzdoes a fine job. Watch out for the wedding speeches, and his snide remarks throughout.

Charlie is.... he’s Charlie-tastic. First class honours to BillyBurke. There's a flashback to him pre-moustache too!

The wedding is awesome. The kiss is EPIC. I loved the speeches, Emmett, Charlie and Jessica all rock the party. Jessica let some of her damn-Bella-got-the-guy-I-wanted shine through. There's a really grizzly dream Bella has the night before that involves a pile of bodies - THAT really set the scene and let you know this was a very different Twilight movie.

The dress! The dress.... yes. Well done, Alice. Very Bella.The shoes? Yikes! No way I could walk down a mossy, grassy isle in those bad boys.

Isle Esme was wonderful. I loved the touch of the red chessset, although we all knew that was in there. The waterfall scene is really fun,and Bella is – funky. She’s playful, snarky and a little bit naughty and it’s reallyrefreshing to see. There were laugh-out-loud moments, and the sex... the sex is really well done, mostly a flashback from Bella the next morning. So don't freak out when you see fade to black, there's more. Nice.

The transformation scene – not bad. I’ll be interested to hearpeople’s opinions, it was not what I expected. Lots of blood... duh. Not as dramatic as the book I thought, and I found myself willing Edward to hurry up, it seemed all a bit too casual for me. I thought they could have played up the 'burning', although she was lying still, it wasn't really obvious the level of pain she was going through inside. I did like the really visceral scenes of the venom going through her blood stream though.

The baby was fucking creepy. Not at first, but when you see it in Rosalie's arms... Oh, and hearing them talk about 'the' name... there was a shriek of laughter in the cinema.

Rosalie's role is quite down-played compared to the book. I expected her to feature much more heavily, but she really didn't. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I was sad that the scene with her making the 'dog bowl' for Jacob wasn't in there.

The wolves, on the whole, are really really well done. Leahis not nearly as annoying as I anticipated. Not sold on the way their ‘hearing’was portrayed, but it was effective, if a little creepy. And no shirtless tubby wolfpack either, they all miraculously have clothes on after phasing back.

THE WIGS. Jasper was... eek. But, you don’t see him much, soit’s no biggie. As suspected, the greatest casualty was poor ol’ Daddy C. Iliterally shuddered every time he was on screen. Peter Facinelli may havebeefed up a little – hard to say – but that wig. The travesty. As we’ve said amillion times, Twilight – making beautiful people fugly since 2008.

Pregnant Bella – very well done in my opinion. She looked very realistically unwell. At one pointI actually asked myself if it was really Kristen. She did really well, and notnearly as much ‘twitch’ as I thought I’d see.

The final fight scene is random, and to be honest, a little unnecessary. It was an add-in, and I kinda see why they did it, but it didn't need to be there.

Oh, and you wanna know where they split it? Do ya? Do ya? I'm gonna tell you after this photo....

Bella opens her bright red eyes. To be continued!

That's all I got folks. I'm writing this at stupid-o'clock, and I am beat. Special thanks to @NixHaw, who also saw it today, for emailing me her thoughts from South Africa. Thanks babe, they really helped.

Mandy over at Malicious Mandy's Mind has done a REALLY detailed spoiler post, click here.

Thanks for visiting. If you're new here, PLEASE FOLLOW this blog! It will be worth it. It's fun here. Thanks :-)