I've got a button!

Wow, it's been just over a month of posting and already I have 23 wonderful followers, and hopefully a few quiet lurkers.... Welcome, and thank you all!

The lovely Lisa has, as well as creating my banner, made me a blog button:

 

Feel free to grab it! Just hit the code on the right side of the page  -------->

Thanks so much for all your support since my arrival in the blogosphere. It's awesome to be here.

One of the best nights ever!

Warning: This post has pretty much nothing to do with Twilight - I just wanna gloat about the awesome night I had last night!

So as many of you know, I work for a healthcare charity. Because we receive no funding from the government, we rely on donations and fundraising events to function. Although I don't work strictly in the income-generation area, I was invited last night to one of the highlights of our city's social calendar.

This was a black-tie, cocktail dress kind of affair, so it's only right that I add this photo here:

I'll be your date for this evening, madam.

As the twitterati may recall, this invitation sent me into a tailspin earlier in the week shopping for a new frock. I had nothing in my wardrobe that would work, but alas, my arm didn't need to be twisted far to convince me to go shopping! I ended up with this:

So off I go, to arrive at this amazing venue, glasses of champagne abundant, to await the draw of chefs. I suppose I should explain - 13 high-profile chefs from around the world (even the guy from MasterChef Australia, which ignited SparklyJul's jealousy!) flew in for the occasion and we waited to have our table number drawn out of a hat to see who would be cooking for us. As we entered the main room there were lots of gasps at how amazing it looked!

FYI - the room was lit in pink, hence all the photos from here are really bright! It didn't look this intense but I think my iPhone accentuated the colours somewhat... just pretend you have rose-tinted glasses on :-)

 

I won't go on and on too much about the food - oh, fuck it, yes I will. With the amount the tickets for this event were worth (which, by the way, I most certainly did not pay) you can assume the quality of the wine and food at this four-course meal was phenominal. Oh yes, yes it was.

My main course - which, much to Lisa's disgust - I proclaimed to be better than sex with Rob, was un-fucking-believable. Now clearly, the only way I'm only gonna be able to prove this is to have had sex with Rob to compare, and as I will no longer be blogging at that point (sex slaves don't have time for the internet) we'll just assume I'm right, m'kay?

 

For my tweeps who were asking what I had, this is the (multi-orgasmic) main course:

Wild Fiordland Venison

Roast loin, young carrots, black kumara gnocchi & liquorice infused jus

Just a touch fancier than the poached eggs on toast I had today then, methinks. Seriously, wow. (If you don't know what kumara is, go here)

I won't bore you with all the menu details but let me just show you one more awesome thing. This chef came from Hong Kong who has a reputation as a bit of a shock-jock: always the talking point. He served a dish called 'transplant':

 

Not the best shot as it was across a big table, but basically, this was a piece of bone, with three syringes (his idea of a bone marrow transplant). One held a white chocolate concotion and the other two pink & red - I assume something berry-ish. I was well jealous I couldn't have a taste!

We ended the evening with a charity auction - wow. There were prizes like signed posters and aprons, the chance to have a chef come to your house to cook for you, and flights for two to London with dinner at an amazing restaurant over there. The size of the bids some people made were mind-blowing, as I mentally compared my income to the dollar amounts flying around the room!

All in all we raised (approx) two hundred thousand dollars, so amazing and so humbling. I had one of the best nights of my life, rocked my party frock, and even went drinking with the chefs afterwards. The perks of being one of the 'crew', eh! Very, very good times. 

And jftr, very, very sore feet. Even now, 8pm the day after, they hurt. My shoes may be incredible, but they are very much 'car to bar' only. For realz.

What's the most amazing meal you've ever eaten?

Desperate times

The hideously long Robp0rn drought continues... and we twitards are getting very twitchy, as is evident from the volumes of recycled material popping up in Blogland right now. I realise the Precious is in the midst of BD pre-production but SURELY he must need to promote something soon! Bel Ami? Water for Elephants? I NEED some new material, people!

While we're recycling, let's take a step
back in time. Hai there, smexy.

So I might have mentioned a couple times that RL has been punishing me recently - and I mean that in a hard-work way (rather than a delicious RRoP way). Two conferences, long hours and a kick-arse landscaping project have stolen my twi-time, but here I am, playing catch up. I thought when I got back there'd be something good and juicy, but alas - NO NEW ROBP0RN.
 
This new level of desperation has lead me to realise how much all things twi (and Rob) infiltrate my life. Seriously. It's not just the sayings (Exhibit A: in the office, waiting to go out for lunch: Me: 'it's time, it's time, it's time!' Coworker: 'geez, what's the rush?' Me: oh shit.)...

It's also the little giggles I get when I see things around me that easily segue into twiland/Robland.

Exhibit B

I was at the supermarket recently when I glanced down at the trolley's handle. They were trying to remind me to bring my reusable shopping bags - but alas, all the way around the store I was remembering something quite different. Make out sesh against a wall with Tyler, anyone?

Exhibit C

Yesterday I was browsing my way around Borders - and I come across this, a display for some journals/diaries. I couldn't help but crack up at the title as I thought of Snarkella and her beaver - ooh how I'd lurve for Hockeyward to be my 'Cooterboy'...

Exhibit D: Every time I reach into my handbag for something:

Cos my breath should always be minty-fresh for Robward.

So, you see, I NEED new material. I will be the biggest Breaking Dawn SPOILER WHORE ever. Bring it on. I'll even go to pap pics.... I know. I said I never would, but, as the title of this post suggests, desperate times call for desperate measures.

How are you coping with the Rob drought? Do we need to hold hands and talk about it? I'm here for you.

I've been tagged...

During my week or so of RL-induced blog absence, KiTT from Tongue-Twied tagged me. Unfortunately, I was reading my emails whilst intoxicated (oops) and managed to permanently delete her questions. So, I've had a wee peek at tag posts from KiTT, Lisa, and Robmusement - and merged the three together to gather these questions.

Name a song that feels like it was written for/about you.
Hmmm. Tricky. Romeo & Juliet by Dire Straits has been my favourite, forever. I'm not really one for hugely meaningful lyrics, generally prefer the whole package (tee hee hee) and this song really floats my boat. Also, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer. John is sex on legs and anything he sings melts me - but especially good. Highly recommend as a good song to bump and grind to - that's unless you get hung up on lyrics, again. Can you tell I'm a guitar girl? Playing the guitar is on my perfect man wish-list... but that's another topic. (hint: playing 'Never Think' is pretty much the key to my door, jftr).

What would your pirate name be?

This is a great question. Given that Captain Feathersword is already taken, I'm gonna go with Captain Anne Rackham. This may sound random, but check out www.piratequiz.com - so funny. This has me thinking about Pirates of the Caribbean... ooh, Johnny. Ahem. Sorry... where was I?

What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
Probably lend me change for the parking meter or something like that... Although I live in hope that a grand gesture from the Man of My Dreams will happen at any minute and sweep me off my feet. I best not hold my breath.

Heels or Flats?

Flats - most of the time. Kitten heels are my favourite, although I do have a couple of pairs of killer heels. I call these my 'car to bar' shoes as there is no way I can stand/dance in them all night, strictly for sit-down evenings only. Although, I do feel extra hot and sexy when I wear them.

What is the favorite spot (aside from Forks) that you've ever visited?
Living in New Zealand,  I'm aware that I'm spoiled for choice when it comes to natural beauty, and I could fill an entire blog with holiday snapshots. I have also lived in the UK and travelled extensively in Europe and through Africa. So this is a tricky question! I'll just restrict it to a couple of snaps:

 Nungwi Beach, Zanzibar Island, Tanzania. Incredible!

Cobb Valley, Nelson Lakes, South Island, New Zealand

Would you rather live by the sea or in the mountains?
As you can see from above, I'm a fan of both! I am also very fortunate to have relatively easy access to both. I'll alwasy be a beach gal at heart though, and when I'm filthy rich, plan to have a holiday home on a remote beach somewhere in NZ where there's almost no one else. Can't wait.

What was your worst ever nightmare?
The only recurring dream I've ever had - about my father dying. Thank goodness I haven't had the dream for a very long time and he's fit and well. I love my Dad so much. (and my Mum too, of course).

What did you dream of becoming when you were growing up?
Interestingly, a chef or a pharmacist. Definitely not a nurse - which is where I ended up. Kind of ironic that it was the idea of shiftwork that put me off being a chef - not sure what hours I thought nurses kept!

What's your favourite fruit?
Can I say lemons?? Loves me some fanfic citrus..... but seriously, strawberries! I have some in my garden right now, just waiting for the fruit to ripen.

Which booze do you always have at your house?
In the summer: beer, wine, bacardi, vodka... oh dear. This sounds bad! (I live alone). At the moment, current favourite are Mojitos - lime, mint, bacardi, soda water. Mmmmmmm. In fact, I might go make one right now... 

Mojito - a beach holiday in a glass.

Did you ever ride on a horse? 

Yes. Once. I was 12. I fell off and cut my foot, needing a tetanus shot. I've never been back on a horse and nor do I intend to. You're either a horse person or not - and I am definitely not. 

What's your favorite reality tv show?
I'm one of those people who claims not to like reality TV - but secretly does. Some shows, not all. I can't stand any of the 'let me tell you how to live your life' shit - Supernanny et al; or the home/wardrobe makeover ones. I do, however, rather like a bit of Idol/X-Factor/...got Talent ones. We get mostly Australian ones here, but US and occasionally UK ones too. For shows like that, I love the first audition shows with the comedic value, and then tend to skip to the last few 'live show' episodes.

Roller coasters--with upside down loops or without?
With! Definitely! My experience is relatively limited (only one rollercoaster in NZ and it's shite) but I loved the upside down one I went on in Australia a few years back.

What song do you hope is playing when Bella walks down the stairs/aisle in Breaking Dawn?
Bella's Lullaby. I heart that song SO much.

I'd walk towards this. Oh yes I would.

Who would you bet money on would be the first Twilight star to win an Oscar?

I'm gonna go with Kristen. As much as I have dissed her in the past - the girl can act. Not so much as Bella, but from what little I've seen of her other stuff, I rate her. Welcome to the Rileys looks good, and I can't wait for Runaways to come out here on DVD - missed it at the movies. 

Well sheesh, that's quite enough from me! Consider yourself tagged if you're reading this, and here are a few questions from me:

1. What's your favourite (non-twilight, non-Rob) movie of all time, and why?
2. Where's the most far-away place you've ever gone on holiday (Or vacation - if you're American)
3. Have you ever been in a natural disaster? Details please.
4. What's your favourite meal?
5. Live music or pre-recorded? What's your favourite album? (apart from the twi-soundtracks)


Feel free to answer in the comments...

Please hold...

Hi everyone,

Robward FiftyShades here. I_heart_Fifty asked me to pass on a message to you all, and as I am her manslave, of course I jumped at the chance.

She's a little busy right now shagging me senseless with some RL stuff but promises to be back in bloggyland just as soon as possible.


While I'm here though, I thought I'd add a little self portrait. I_heart_Fifty loves it when I make you all jealous of her.

Shamelessly stolen from LKW @ Twitarded

Sweet dreams!

P.S. She also said to say thanks to whoever sent the tweet/email/comment (?) about being 'tagged' - it seems our dear IHF checked her laptop late last night while I was distracting her with my beauty she was rather inebriated and seems to have deleted the message. Oops.

I've been interviewed!

I don't have time for a decent length post here as I am now officially late for work this Wednesday morning, but I just wanted to say SQUEE! I've been interviewed by Twilight Junkies Anonymous for their Twilight Junkie Tuesday.... and you can check it out here!

Thanks to Marie at TJA for spotting me on Facebook and hooking me up. I've even gained new followers! Welcome!

I'm still recovering from reading the end of Emancipation Proclamation last night. OME. The ladies of twitter have got me thinking, might post a review of the whole story at some stage for those who lost faith near the end. If anyone wants to contribute to my EP review, comment or email me!

Till next time... I'll leave you with my current favourite pic. No idea how old it is or where it came from but it made me tingle. In the right places. Ooh yeah.

I know you're watching me. And I like it.

Fan fiction rocks my world

Happy Sunday! Aaah, Sunday - the day of rest. Also, of late, the day of much fanfic. Most weeks, I am so exhausted by the weekend, and so busy on Saturdays - that Sundays are a good opportunity to chill out and relax. I live alone and very often you'll find me still in bed at noon, with my laptop/phone reading the latest chapter of... something goooooood.

I loves me some lemons! (Thanks Bleriana for the pic)

This post exists because SparklyJul and I have a new twi-friend, NegligentMummy. We are her enablers and last week I introduced her to the idea of fanfic. Looks like I succeeded because she's had two all-nighters so far this week, feeding her new addiction.

We all know the best way to read new stories is through recommendations from other twitards. I got into fanfic because of discussion over at Twitarded and continue to hear of great stories through my twitter buddies or through looking at other people's FFn favourites.

So on that note, what's your top ten? This is one of the hardest questions to answer, I know. It's like any other 'top 10' list you try and create in conversation with others, there's always the 'oh yeah, and this one... and that one...'.

I've thought long and hard about this, however am quite prepared to admit that I'll likely leave comment after I hear from others, adapting my list.

In no particular order (I promise. If I made you rank them, there'd be a riot).


The Misapprehension of Bella Swan by hunterhunting
The University of Edward Masen by Sebastien Robichaud
Emancipation Proclamation by kharizzmatik
Master of the Universe (I & II) by Snowqueens Icedragon
The List by LauraACullen
Tropic of Virgo by inablueblathrobe
Clipped Wings and Inked Armour by hunterhunting
Maybe by 107yearoldvirgin
Osa Bella by Myg
Take The Ice by bellamarie117

I can't let a post about fanfic go by without also pimping SparklyJul's very own fic. If you haven't already checked out Baggage Claim, go do it! (after you've listed your top ten, that is).

Can't wait to see your lists..... so get commenting! and happy reading x

Saturday spoils

Let me preface this by saying I have very little to say today. For once.

I've been away from blogland for a couple days and I come back to discover this:

I have the power to make you tingle. And I know it.

I know. I had to take a moment to savour it too.

Just watched KStew on Leno livestream (thanks to my tweeps for the link!). The girl has talent. And I think I finally see what Rob sees in her. I've never been a massive KS fan, but I am coming around these days. And I love her new hair colour!

I get it now. I'm still jealous, but I get it.

In other news, all the FORKS! posts are fantastic. You guys looked like you had an amazing time and I am totally amping for there to be a Twitarded2011 gathering. I am already looking into airfares. For real.

Tomorrow, I am planning a decent, actual post. I was gonna post tonight before I got sidetracked by you-know-what. To finish up, here's another shot.

I Heart the Precious. Hard.

I hear ya.

(Yep, I see how that last sentence could be interpreted. And I'm not changin' it. J/S).

SparklyJul has opinions, too!

Let’s get the formalities out of the way first.

My name is Jul and I am a twilight addict. I would like to say that I am out and I'm proud but I would be lying. I am however proud to say that I_heart_Fifty (IHF) is my best friend, fantastic Fic-Bitch and all around partner in Twicrime. She primps and preens my fanfic so it’s fit for human consumption, as well as sending good recs my way. Basically, if I wasn't already married she would totes be my life partner.

IHF note: I love you too, but WHAT? Jeebus…

For as long as the books and movies have been a part of my life I have had numerous issues, and while it’s hard to narrow down, the four most important (in no particular order) are:

1. What the fuck is with the ‘fade to black’ in the sex scenes? Thankfully fanfic solved this one. Oh fanfic, how I love thee...
2. What were SM and the wardrobe department thinking with some of those clothing choices? I have four words for you. Edward's. Sleeveless. White. Shirt. *shudders violently*
3. Renesmee!?! I work in the neonatal unit of New Zealand's biggest hospital. I see stupid names on a daily basis. I do not need to read about one. ‘Nuff said.
4. Who made the decision (in the movies) to ignore how SM described Jacob and the wolf pack?

Now, number 4 is what has my panties all bunched up. When I read the book for the first time, I was salivating at the thought of seeing New Moon and all those half naked, huge muscled, russet skinned wolf pack boys. I just want to say that while I have always been (and will always be) Team Edward all the way - I am not blind.


I have a bit of a thing for a nicely muscled (but not too overdone AKA 'the situation') chest and have been known to give a little sigh when Tay-Tay takes his shirt off in NM (much to IHF's disgust). While I fully appreciate all the hard work that went into the transformation from Twilight Jacob to NM Jacob the one thing he couldn't do was gain a foot in height.

I mean, they can make a CGI wolf and make the Cullens sparkle (oh sparkle peen!... fuck, I am easily distracted) for fuck’s sake. Surely they can use some trick camera angles or smoke and mirrors to make Jake a little taller. I understand that they couldn't stay 100% true to the books, but it's not like SM only mentioned it once.


Exhibit A: (courtesy of twilightquotes.com)

"I had to reach so high to slap his hand that he laughed."

"While he worked, he seemed almost graceful. Unlike when he was on his feet; there, his height and big feet made him nearly as dangerous as I was."

"I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I felt like I was a child hugging a grown-up."

"It’s hard to believe I’m two years older than you. You make me feel like a dwarf."

"These were just four really big half-naked boys."

The defence rests.

These boys are supposed to be MASSIVE, close to 7 foot and pure muscle. And they sadly are not. The wolf pack is downright scrawny, and Jacob is only a few inches taller than Bella.

My favourite discrepancy is in Eclipse, when Edward and Jacob throw down outside Charlie’s about Jacob’s stolen kiss. In the movie, Jacob is actually looking up in order to look Edward in the eye. So. Not. Cool.

Maybe the Twilight people need to talk to the Harry Potter people - cause they know how to make people look big.

Exhibit B:

Now listen here Bill Condon. Three times they have fucked this up. It’s your job to make it right.

I rest my case.

P.S. the wolf pack ink looks like a vagina. Just saying...

I've got a dirty secret. And I know you do too.

If you’ve NOT been imbibing in the Pacific NorthWest of the US this weekend, like me, chances are you’ve also been glued to blogger & twitter for photos, updates, scandal, fanfic finales (Osa Bella FTW!) and other hilarity.

I am writing this on a plane back from Christchurch, where I’ve spent the weekend staying with a friend and her two small children. This friend, while she knows me well, sees me rarely and knows nothing of my twi-addiction. Herein lies the problem. This was not just any weekend. This was THE Twitarded Forks weekend. As I’m sure most of you will agree, it’s hard to get through 48 hours without talking about twi, reading fanfic or checking twitter of a normal weekend, let alone this one.

I have to exist a whole weekend in RL with no laptop? Whaaat?

There was one mention of Twilight this past weekend – while at the DVD store discussing what to rent, we saw New Moon on the shelf.

Miss K: ‘Have you seen any of those vampire movies?

Me: ‘Umm, yeah.”

“Do you wanna rent this one?”

“Umm, not really”. Nuff said, I thought.

“Have you seen it?”

“Yep, and the other two as well”

“Are they good then?”

“Yeah, they’re alright. You should watch them sometime, I just really don’t wanna rent something I’ve already seen”

“Fair enough”… whew!

Amen.

I also spent the weekend subtly (I hope) checking my phone for tweets and updates from Forks. Miss K knew my phone is my new baby and that I was exploring it’s capabilities. I assured her I was searching the app store, sorting my iTunes playlists, checking email…. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Shame on me.

Although I had accepted that I wouldn’t be able to go to Forks (NZ to US flights are a little out of my price range) I had previously thought I would spend the Forks weekend in my darkened room, surgically attached to my laptop, with twi-DVDs on constant repeat, rocking back and forth, drinking vodka and stalking twitter. When the business trip came about that allowed me to spend the weekend in Christchurch without paying for flights, I hadn’t clicked that this was Forks weekend.

Now that I’m headed home, I’ve already read fanfic updates at the airport, whipped out the laptop on the plane and am intending to spend the evening catching up in Blogland. I’m lucky in the sense that I live alone and don’t answer to anyone or have any curious eyes wondering what I’m doing. Most of the time. Except the little shit sitting next to me on the plane right now pretending not to look over my shoulder. Fuck. Off. I know you’re reading this.

I've heard that rumour. Credit to whoever created this, I found it on Google.

So, how much do your friends and family know of your addiction? I’ve read various blog posts on this topic and it seems we’ve all got varying degrees of ‘out’. I don’t have any outward obvious signs (books, soundtrack CDs and DVDs don’t count). No FSE’s, clothing or other twi-merch at my place. Should someone ever get their hands on my laptop and find my Robp0rn folder however, that would be another matter. I even had a separate Facebook account for all the twi-shit, but since that was deactivated, I’ve let it slide. No way am I ‘liking’ fanfic sites with my real profile though, that’s just asking for trouble.

How obvious is your addiction the outside world and what lengths do you go to to hide it?

And, if you went to Forks, what’s the chance the pilgrimage will become an annual event?

Should I start a Washington2011 savings fund now?