SparklyJul has opinions, too!

Let’s get the formalities out of the way first.

My name is Jul and I am a twilight addict. I would like to say that I am out and I'm proud but I would be lying. I am however proud to say that I_heart_Fifty (IHF) is my best friend, fantastic Fic-Bitch and all around partner in Twicrime. She primps and preens my fanfic so it’s fit for human consumption, as well as sending good recs my way. Basically, if I wasn't already married she would totes be my life partner.

IHF note: I love you too, but WHAT? Jeebus…

For as long as the books and movies have been a part of my life I have had numerous issues, and while it’s hard to narrow down, the four most important (in no particular order) are:

1. What the fuck is with the ‘fade to black’ in the sex scenes? Thankfully fanfic solved this one. Oh fanfic, how I love thee...
2. What were SM and the wardrobe department thinking with some of those clothing choices? I have four words for you. Edward's. Sleeveless. White. Shirt. *shudders violently*
3. Renesmee!?! I work in the neonatal unit of New Zealand's biggest hospital. I see stupid names on a daily basis. I do not need to read about one. ‘Nuff said.
4. Who made the decision (in the movies) to ignore how SM described Jacob and the wolf pack?

Now, number 4 is what has my panties all bunched up. When I read the book for the first time, I was salivating at the thought of seeing New Moon and all those half naked, huge muscled, russet skinned wolf pack boys. I just want to say that while I have always been (and will always be) Team Edward all the way - I am not blind.


I have a bit of a thing for a nicely muscled (but not too overdone AKA 'the situation') chest and have been known to give a little sigh when Tay-Tay takes his shirt off in NM (much to IHF's disgust). While I fully appreciate all the hard work that went into the transformation from Twilight Jacob to NM Jacob the one thing he couldn't do was gain a foot in height.

I mean, they can make a CGI wolf and make the Cullens sparkle (oh sparkle peen!... fuck, I am easily distracted) for fuck’s sake. Surely they can use some trick camera angles or smoke and mirrors to make Jake a little taller. I understand that they couldn't stay 100% true to the books, but it's not like SM only mentioned it once.


Exhibit A: (courtesy of twilightquotes.com)

"I had to reach so high to slap his hand that he laughed."

"While he worked, he seemed almost graceful. Unlike when he was on his feet; there, his height and big feet made him nearly as dangerous as I was."

"I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I felt like I was a child hugging a grown-up."

"It’s hard to believe I’m two years older than you. You make me feel like a dwarf."

"These were just four really big half-naked boys."

The defence rests.

These boys are supposed to be MASSIVE, close to 7 foot and pure muscle. And they sadly are not. The wolf pack is downright scrawny, and Jacob is only a few inches taller than Bella.

My favourite discrepancy is in Eclipse, when Edward and Jacob throw down outside Charlie’s about Jacob’s stolen kiss. In the movie, Jacob is actually looking up in order to look Edward in the eye. So. Not. Cool.

Maybe the Twilight people need to talk to the Harry Potter people - cause they know how to make people look big.

Exhibit B:

Now listen here Bill Condon. Three times they have fucked this up. It’s your job to make it right.

I rest my case.

P.S. the wolf pack ink looks like a vagina. Just saying...